Issue #105 • October 20th, 2026

Hi Reader,

It was 2017. I was walking through our warehouse at woom when I saw two of my Customer Experience manager and Operations manager arguing about something for a very long time.

I stepped in. “Guys, it’s very clear. Just think about our values.”

One of them looked at me and said:

“What ARE our values?”

That one stopped me cold.

I knew our values. But they only lived in my head. So we dropped everything, went into the meeting room and wrote them down.

Watch the 64-second clip from my conversation with Bhadresh Nayak

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SAME MISTAKE. DIFFERENT BUILDING.

Years later, going through my divorce, I realized I had done the exact same thing at home.

I could tell you what my company stood for. But what did I stand for, as a man, a father, a partner? It lived in my head. And when life got loud, I had nothing written down to steer by.

High performers set direction for everyone else. We are often the last to set it for ourselves.

So when I rebuilt, I asked Doralicia and my kids to each submit the values they wanted our family to live by. Not mine handed down. Theirs.

These are the Ihlenfeld Family Values:

Simple enough that my kids remember them. Hard enough that I work at them every day. Especially patience.

And when we disagree, we have something to come back to. Just like that meeting room in 2017.

TRY THIS WEEK

1. Finish this sentence three times: “I want my kids to say their dad/mom always ______.”

2. At dinner, ask: “What are three words you’d want our family to be known for?” Write down every answer.

3. Pick three to five together. Put them on the fridge.

Co-parenting across two homes? Your home can still have values. Maybe especially then.

Hit reply and tell me one value you’d want on your family’s list. I read every one.

Talk soon,

Mathias

P.S. The full conversation with Bhadresh Nayak is worth your time. I cover a bunch of things I have never talked about publicly before: my divorce, burnout, parenting and what it really cost me to build a company. Watch it here:

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Mathias Ihlenfeld | Entrepreneur | Coach | Advisor

​Texas Regional Cohort Leader Birthing of Giants​

​LinkedIn • Instagram • Website​

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