Issue #61 • May 30, 2026

In my last broadcast I wrote about building real friendships. Going first. Showing up repeatedly. Dropping the armor.

But here is the part I did not say clearly enough.

Not at all costs.

Because before you go adding new people to your life, it is worth taking an honest look at who is already in it. Some of the people closest to you -- friends, family, colleagues -- may be quietly costing you more than you realize.

This week I want to talk about that.

Who in your life is actually giving you energy? And who is taking it?

I learned this framework during my studies to become a Certified Spiritual Coach at the Awakened Academy. It was not presented as a motivational idea. It was a tool for self-examination. Simple enough to do in an afternoon. Uncomfortable enough to sit with for weeks.

Because here is what it surfaces.

I spent years as a people pleaser. Said yes when I meant no. Showed up out of obligation. Stayed in relationships long past their expiration date. And I surrounded myself with energy suckers without ever naming it that.

The audit changed that.

Here is how it works.

Step one -- the inventory. Write down everyone who takes up meaningful mental or emotional space. Family, friends, colleagues, advisors. Get them all on paper.

Step two -- the sort. Two columns. People who elevate you -- who leave you feeling clear, sharp, more like yourself. And people who drain you -- who leave you flat, heavy, or quietly worse than before. You are not judging anyone's worth. You are observing a pattern that already exists.

Step three -- examine the draining ones. For each person ask: why do they drain me? Is this relationship required or optional? What boundary could I set? Vague discomfort becomes something you can actually act on.

Step four -- invest in the energizing ones. How much time are you actually giving them? Most people are neglecting exactly the relationships that fuel them because the draining ones create friction and friction demands attention.

Step five -- two named actions. One boundary with a draining relationship. One investment in an energizing one. Not a plan. Two specific moves this week.

Now here is the thing nobody talks about.

Energy is not infinite. It is a container.

And most people's containers are already full -- full of obligations, guilt, inertia, and relationships that stopped serving them years ago. They wonder why they feel stuck, why they cannot attract better opportunities, why the connections they want never seem to materialize.

It is because there is no room.

When I did this audit myself and started removing what was draining me -- the professional relationships maintained out of habit, the social commitments nobody ever formally ended, the family dynamics running on terms set decades ago -- something unexpected happened.

It was not just that I felt lighter.

New things started showing up. Better clients. Deeper friendships. Conversations I would not have had the bandwidth for before. Opportunities that seemed to come out of nowhere.

They did not come out of nowhere. They came into the space I had finally created.

Nature abhors a vacuum. So does your life. Remove the energy suckers and watch what fills the gap.

You cannot build better relationships while your energy is already spoken for.

One move in each direction. That is where it starts.

Mathias

P.S. I am launching a 5-part email series called "The Phone Is Not The Problem." Because there is another energy sucker I have not talked about yet -- the one in your pocket. If you are interested in receiving a daily update email, reply to this email and I will send you daily updates for 5 days starting Monday.

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