Issue #59 • May 27, 2026

Last week I wrote about friendships being the lowest score on the wheel of life (Link here)

Almost every time. Almost every person.

A lot of you reached out. Which told me two things: it landed because it was true, and most people have no idea what to actually do about it.

So this week, not just the diagnosis. The practice.

But first, one thing to the person sitting with something heavier than a low score on a wheel.

Maybe you look up and the last real friendship you had was years ago. The people you used to be close to drifted. The business took over. And now there is a version of you functioning at a high level professionally and quietly starving for real connection.

You are not broken. You are not too far gone. Adult friendships can be built from scratch. The first step is much smaller than you think.

Now, the practice.

Daniel Goetz built GoodPop over seventeen years into a nine-figure brand. When he gets on stage he does not lead with strategy.

He leads with this: the source of mental health is community. The source of mental illness is isolation.

If you have been grinding alone, that is not just a scheduling problem. That is a signal worth paying attention to.

Go first. Everyone around you is waiting for someone else to initiate. Send the text. Organize the dinner nobody has gotten around to. Follow up after the conversation that meant something. Friendship favors the person willing to move first. Every single time.

Show up repeatedly, not intensely. One great conversation does not make a friendship. The same gym, the same group, the same call every few weeks does. Find something recurring and stay.

Practice small honesty. Not vulnerability as performance. Just slightly more honest than usual. "It has been a hard week" instead of "I am good." These small moments repeated over time build more trust than years of showing up composed.

Drop the armor. The armor that built your career is the same armor keeping people at arm's length. You cannot be fully known while keeping everyone at a safe distance. At some point you have to decide whether being known matters more than being seen as composed.

Stop confusing networking with friendship. A room full of contacts is not a community. A large following is not a circle of friends. Networking gives you access. Friendship gives you belonging. They are not the same thing.

Real connection. Real friendship. Real belonging.

One honest question before you move on.

Not "why don't I have more friends."

But "how much of myself am I actually letting people see?"

That is usually where the answer is.

This week, one move. Pick one person. Send them a message today. Not to catch up on everything. Just to say you have been thinking about them.

Crack the door. That is enough to start.

Mathias

P.S. If you feel compelled to read the longer version and you know exactly who you need to reach out to but have not done it yet, that is not a coincidence. https://bymathias.kit.com/posts/you-can-still-build-real-friendships-here-is-how​

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